Bitter Sweet

I haven’t written for a while but things aren’t as good as they once were. It is now the French Revolution and everything is tumbling down. I have started to make shoes again. Making shoes has its up’s and it has it’s downs. For the most part it is my stress reliever and helps me keep my mind off the bad things that are happening in life but things are so bad right now that making shoes can’t even keep me stress-free. Charles Darnay is suspected for treason in France and is put on trial because they say he was passing English Military secrets to the French. I said that he was innocent and his lawyer pointed out Sydney, who looks exactly like Charles and the witnesses could not be 100% sure that is was Charles Darnay. Everything was good for a while but then Charles arrested again because the diary I wrote about him while I was in prison and that gets him sent to jail. Charles gets condemned of his uncles sins and sentenced to the death penalty. This was a terrible time for the family, especially Lucie. Suddenly, Sydney Carton, who is in love with Lucie, takes Charles’s place and dies for him so Lucie can live happily. This was a shock to us and gave us all a bitter sweet feeling.

Lucie

Lately I have become very close with my daughter Lucie. Although the mishap with her and her soon to be husband threw me off, I still decided to bless their marriage. I gave it a hard long thought but realized that if my daughter is married to man that keeps her happy than I am okay with it. At first when I heard she was going to be marrying Charles Darnay I freaked out because that is the son of the man who imprisoned me! I am also okay with their marriage because little does Charles know the pain and suffering his father put on me years ago. Not only did that screw up my life for 16 years but now, years after I am still trying to recover over the experience I went through. None of that is Charles’ fault though so I accept him. I am just glad that everything is working out good right now. It makes me feel so happy to see Lucie happy and a man by her side to keep her feeling this way. I bless them and their marriage for hopefully many happy memories and years to come!  

What to do now...

I am finally out of prison and don’t know how to get through the days. I imaged life after hell in prison to be great, just like old times but I am so depressed. Recently I was at the Darfarge’s wine shop and all of a sudden Mr. Lorrie shows up with a woman that looks exactly like my wife and soon to find out it is my daughter Lucie that I did not know about. She is beautiful and looks exactly like her mom. I have started to become really close with her. She has accepted the fact that I was in jail for 16 years and not in her life. She grew up thinking that both her parents were dead so it was a relief to her when she found out we were both, very much alive. Lucie has also helped me cope with my past a prisoner and has devoted her time and love towards me. I have showed her that I truly cherish our relationship and love her very much. I have also started working back in England as a physician. Sometimes I like to make shoes to keep me distracted from everything else that gets me frustrated but I am doing good lately and hopefully I don’t relapse.

Almost out of here

Soon I will be released from this dreaded prison where I have been living for almost 16 years. Although it was not my fault in the first place to be thrown in prison, I sometimes have feelings that I could of somehow stopped that peasant woman getting raped by the Marquis de Evre Monde and his brother. It is so sad that when her brother tried to save her that he was killed in a duel. That moment still scars me to this day. I still have no desire to talk to anyone unless it is necessary but I have changed so much since I have been here. While I have been here I wrote down my entire life story and hid it in my cell so no one would find it. Hopefully this letter wont get me in trouble like the last one did when I wrote a letter about the rape and then was thrown in prison!  At some points I feel as if I am losing my mind and sometimes it’s hard to imagine what the light of day looks like. I can’t wait to be free again like old times, it sucks to call this place a ‘home’.  Also I am so excited to see my wife again .